Remembering Backpack Leader Mike Denaro

Michael Denaro 1962-2011
In Loving, Laughing, Memory
 
AMC backpack leader Mike "Dancin’ Bear" Denaro passed away from a heart attack Sunday, April 17, 2011 while hiking solo on the Greenbelt Trail in Long Island; surrounded by the woods he loved so much, with his homemade fiddle in one hand and a book in the other. He was 48 years old and is survived by his children Joe, Mary, and Theresa, their mother Linda Monahan Denaro and granddaughter Bella.
 
In addition to being a volunteer backpack leader and member of the backpack committee, Mike was a second grade school teacher at Accompsett Elementary School in Smithtown, NY. He was known for his sharp mind, generous spirit and sense of humor. He had an incredible number of hobbies and talents, including music, science, botany, woodworking, yoga, cooking and making his own ultralight backpacking equipment. Mike was accomplished at many different things, but one of his great talents was storytelling, so some of his fellow backpack leaders and backpacking friends thought it fitting to share a few of our favorite stories and memories about Mike with the rest of AMC. 

"I first met Mike around five years ago when he came as a participant on a backpack trip I was leading on the AT in NJ. Towards the end of the first day, I sprained my ankle and had to hike off the ridge back down to Mohican. I left the group in the hands of my co-leader, but I later found out that Mike had in fact assisted him quite a bit in finishing the trip successfully. That was Mike: a leader and always willing to help.
 
Mike was an intelligent man and had become a teacher after managing a garden nursery. He was a knowledgeable botanist and could readily identify the trees, plants, herbs and flowers that grew along the trail. He was also a very handy guy and an artist who made stained glass, jewelry and carved things out of wood. When Mike started playing the violin (his “fiddle”) and he needed a music stand, he made one! It was Mike that got me into dehydrating my own backpacking food. He had been into many different things in his life really too numerous to mention.
 
Mike was after all, very human and he had had some very serious health issues and challenges in his personal life that he had overcome. As difficult as some of these issues were, he never let anything stop him from being himself and doing the things he loved.  He made an impression on all who met him and I don’t think any of us will ever forget him.”
~ Frank Zarb

“Mike was the friend you always wanted, the teacher you wish you had, the neighbor you hope would move in. The person you would want to sit next to you on the plane. 

Whenever I was engaged in conversation with him, whether it be on hikes or the ride home afterwards, the topic was never world crisis or politics but always sharing of information. Even being an avid backpacker, Mike was the one person I knew I could always learn just “One More Thing” from. We joked about planning a “Bear Grylls” weekend in which we would go out into the woods with nothing but a few essentials and hike for a weekend, with our good friend Thomas as the Support/Camera crew filming the whole thing. If there was anyone I would do this with it would be Mike, with his knowledge on edible plants and our combined knowledge of survival techniques, it would have made for a great experience. He will be forever on the trail with me. I will meet you at the top on the mountain my friend.”
~ Jim Erickson

“Mike, I'll never forget climbing Mt. Marcy with you in the misty rain and incredible fog. We couldn't see a thing except for the wet slab two inches from our noses as we climbed on our hands and knees. When we finally reached the top, you turned to me and said, "I'm never doing this again." I agreed. I'm glad we were both full of crap. I have so many beautiful memories of us over the years. I'm grateful to have known you.”
~ Valerie Accardi

“We shared some great times backpacking together with the AMC and in just a few days together it felt like we were old friends - Mike was like that. He was an extraordinary person with so much talent and passion for life. He will be missed.”
~ Joe DeMott

“I remember Mike burning incense as we sat around the campfire. And of course him wearing his hiker’s kilt. He was unique and not afraid to be himself and brought a special spirit to the group.”
~ Laura Malkin

“Mike attended AMC Outdoor Leadership Training in 2009 when I was one of the instructors. We had everyone take part in scenarios to help them learn how to deal with difficult situations as a leader. In one scenario, Mike was supposed to be in a very serious disagreement with some of the others, but he kept finding the humor in the situation – making funny comments and had us all laughing instead. Classic.”
~ Debbie Melita

 “Mike, I will miss your camp fire stories. I wish I could learn more about plant life from you and I will think of you when I hang out my Tibetan prayer flags.”
 ~ Michael Moschitta

 “He was a great inspiration and a joy to have on the AMC Backpacking Committee -- a terrific hiker and leader. And, he was a lot of fun. My sympathies to his family, and to all of us in AMC who will miss him on the trail.”
~ Melanie Simmerman
 

After attending Mike’s memorial service on April 21, Thomas “Manwich” Worman wrote the following description:
 
“A 40'x20' room with seating for 50 held over a hundred people as every inch of occupiable space to be in the final presence of the departed was filled. It became clear to every friend, family member, student and stranger to Mike that there was a tremendous loss to be discussed today.

Those who dare arrive straight-faced were greeted by a picture of him in the atrium where you registered your visit and this is where it all came crashing down. Atop the pine box at the front of the room were photos of Mike as well as some letters written by his students. Somebody brought a newspaper article highlighting Mike as an unsung hero when he saved another's life in a fire back in 1997.

His immediate family wore "Life is Good" t-shirts, a testament to his everyday demeanor. I personally wore an "I'd rather be in a Tent" t-shirt, that Mike, Jim Erickson and I all won on a silly Facebook app. First his colleagues from Accompsett, then his students (vicariously through letters) testified to Mike's know-it-all behavior and how his thirst for knowledge and bettering himself became a mainstay within the halls of the school. Through tear-soaked eyes, his daughters both eulogized their father's accomplishments and remarked on the surreal experience of having to speak for the giant at his own service. It was, to me, a bittersweet moment, for we were asked to celebrate his life but it's clear that the loss is too great to bear for everyone, a fact in-of-itself is extremely profound to observe.

Each speaker incorporated some levity into their eulogies. It's not entirely hard to do to a man who wore a kilt, was an expert in horticulture, played with hissing cockroaches and could sew like a champ. In these moments, our memories of him became palpable when we reflected on some of the silliest stuff Mike did to us.
I had a chuckle at the end when the funeral director asked that everybody begin to wrap things up so that his family and closest friends can have a moment with him: Nobody budged for a solid minute; We were all his closest friends a family, all of us... at least, that's how he made all of us feel... 

And if there was something to take away from this somber gathering, it was to extend a bit of that attitude to everyone in our own lives: Go the extra mile, be humble and leave no one without a smile.”

Per the wishes of Mike’s family, a memorial hike is being organized that will take place in the Catskills, most likely in June.

Condolence cards can be sent to Mike's aunt, Frances Leone, 257 Oyster Bay Road, Mill Neck, NY 11765

Contributions can made in Mike’s memory to:
American Heart Association
PO Box 3049
17 Technology Drive
Syracuse, NY 13220